I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
