I think I won the penis lottery.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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