Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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