Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
