We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
