Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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