once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
