so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize