Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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