i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
