it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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