On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
