her facebook's as public as her vagina
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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