You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize