he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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