so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
