Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
