this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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