Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
