4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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