I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
