Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
