names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
