Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
