none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
