I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Alive.
So much puke
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
