i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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