You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
