dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
