Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The air was thick with penises
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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