i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sorry about my life...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
