how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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