he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize