Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize