I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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