My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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