Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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