I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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