drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize