No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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