So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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