is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
