32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
