i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
