I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
