I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize