I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
