Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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