he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
