are you still at the devil's house?
I need help removing her.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
