how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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