I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
