Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
