I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
