...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
