Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
