You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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