They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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