In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
