Are we in a gay sports bar?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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