I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
