he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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